The Foolish Man
92There once was a foolish man who married a dependent woman. After a time the foolish man and the dependent woman went their separate ways. The foolish man and the dependent woman made up an agreement to complete their separation. The foolish man wrote with emotion instead of clear thought. The foolish man read with emotion instead of clear thought. The foolish man did not hire someone to protect him.
The foolish man agreed to pay the dependent woman and for twenty years he paid the dependent woman every month, always on time and never a nickle short. The foolish man could not afford to live in the area he used to live so, when he moved out, he move to a small apartment in a lower income area. He lived in that area for three years.
Time went by and the foolish man found a woman to be his partner. The foolish man and his partner lived in her small house in a low income area and began to create a life together. After four years they were able to move to a better home and for twenty years they saved and carefully prepared for the days when work would end.
The dependent woman spent her time remaining dependent. She did not grow, she did not save. She did not make an attempt to fulfill her life with a partner, for she was not a partner; she was a dependent. Whether it be out of malice and inability to function, the dependent woman lived in a house provided by the foolish man and for which she could never afford on her own. Even with the foolish man's money she could not afford to live in the high cost area. The foolish man was always there for his kids, who were older children. I provided extra money, and he spent time with them. The foolish man also provided extra money after the kids were grown to help the dependent woman when the wolves got too close to the door.
Despite advice from the foolish man, who foolishly thought she was still his friend, she remained in the house after the kids were grown and keeping one step ahead of the mountain of credit that she was creating. The children grew and still she stayed never once considering the value of living to her own means. The last child turned twenty-one eleven years ago.
Twenty years went by and the foolish man lost a job that he worked at for twenty-seven years. He tried and tried to find another job. He piled up a list of thirteen hundred emails over a year's time all in the effort to find a job. His skills were out of date from staying in one job too long, another foolish thing. His education level for the job he was doing was now more than he could claim he had; again too foolish to improve over the years. With the job market in the toilet companies made all of the rules. The foolish man was now a few years from retirement age and companies found ways to avoid hiring old people.
The foolish man was not finding work. He informed the dependent woman that he could not pay. The foolish man and his partner wife had worked and saved for twenty years in preparation for this day. The foolish man's partner had retired with honors after thirty-seven years of service to the government. With the job he used to do out of reach and never having done any other work, the foolish man and his partner determined that they could begin the next phase of their lives.
The foolish man did his best to get money to the dependent woman, pulling money from where ever he could, again because he still thought of her as a friend. The dependent woman was as dependent on this day as she was twenty years before. She still lived in a house and in a neighborhood well above her own means, and she was still one step ahead of the creditors. When the foolish man couldn't pay the dependent woman's house of cards came down.
The dependent woman then pulled out her weapon of last resort. She lawyered up and threatened to have the foolish man put in jail for breech of contract. She waved the piece of paper that the foolish man signed and the wheels of justice ground the foolish man up. Now the foolish man must find a job, any job to pay the dependent woman or go to jail. Everything that the foolish man and his wife saved for was now in jeopardy and it was all his fault.
The clear moral to this story is never sign anything without a lawyer. It may seem like a waste of money when making an agreement with someone you think you know, but, I beg you, get a lawyer, it will save your life.
The foolish man's life will not be what he thought it would be. His partner that worked so hard hoping they could enjoy this time together now she has had her plan stopped.
In all of this the foolish man has one consolation. He will know that the every time the dependent woman looks at anything that she owns she will know that she does not deserve it. She will know in her heart she is outside the world of responsible adults. No responsible adult would purposely live where she cannot afford to live. She is a dependent, no more capable of living on her own than a child. The dependent woman lives on other people's money and ruins other people's lives. She will never have anything to be proud of.
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THE FOOLISH MAN WAS GOING TO HAVE IT HIS WAY AND THE
DEPENDANT WOMAN WANTED TO LEAVE IN 24 MONTHS. But now all
is up in the air because foolish man cuts off his nose to
spite his face. Venting is one thing, but that was a real
classy act foolish man put on. lucky t.p.o.s. has a sense of
humor.
This is a response from a person who does not understand. After twenty-three years a person should not be held responsible for the mismanaged life of someone else.
Foolish man made the offer that T.P.O.S. speaks of , it was offered before any of this happened. T.P.O.S. doesn't
necessarily disagree with mismanaged life. T.P.O.S should
never have gotten married in the first place. That's for
sure. T.P.O.S.'S life was ruined too.Completely ruined.
Now T.P.O.S. is just trying to survive. T.P.O.S. now only
wants to fix said house and to sell it so T.P.O.S. can pay
foolish man off. But that doesn't matter now, T.P.O.S.
supposes. T.P.O.S. has not trusted anyone in forty years.
It's clear who this person is so and if she wants to play this in public I have no problem with it.
An offer was made to do exactly what she wanted to do. She refused the offer. This was not done because we feel we owned her anything; we offered to help out. When things got tougher instead of taking the offer she lawyered up and through me under the bus after twenty-three years of support.
Where does she think this money will come from? We planned to take it out of savings hoping to get it back from the sale of the house. Now she will take my life savings without a agreement to sell the house. Is this fair?
You told T.P.O.S. you would write about them and it would be
all over the net. But you also made it clear that you never
listen. So there is no point in doing anything anyway as
foolish man made that abundantly clear. After all there is
only one side in this saga.
This is a public forum; present your side. I am approving all of your comments for the world to see; I could just have easily denied them and no one would have seen them. If there is one thing that I am known for here it is being fair to all sides in a controversy.
I have only told the truth of exactly what happen. I invite you, I plead with you to tell me the other side. Tell me how it is fair to do this? It could have been worked out without causing the harm you caused and you knew that. This could only have been done with the malice of forethought. If not, explain to the world right here. Tell your side.
T.P.O.S. is totally evil, right? The foolish man is just
precious. Very precious. YOU NEVER LISTEN. YOU NEVER LISTEN
YOU NEVER LISTEN. YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO WRITE ABOUT
ME. AND IT WOULD BE ALL OVER THE NET. I BELIEVED YOU. SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT ME. YOU JUST NEVER LISTEN.
Is this your side. Is the phrase, "You never listen," your justification for what you have done. The people want to hear why you did this. I am asking for your side in this.
Yes I did tell you I would write about what you did. Writing is my only way to tell the world that I am not the dead beat low life your lawyer threatened to put in jail. It's my only way of explaining the judgement that now sits against me in the court. If anyone looked at those documents they would think I was one of those characters that ran out on my wife and kids and I will not be characterized that way.
T.P.O.S. is content to be whatever you say. really go at it.You can announce to the world how awful and useless I am.
You also said you would never speak to T.P.O.S. EVER AGAIN.
So there is really no point. T.P.O.S.IS A totally useless leech, who never did anything for you and completely ruined
your life.let's see, oh yeah, may I suffer for as long as
live, get some horrible disease and die soon. Then all will
be right with your world. Your sorry you ever married
T.P.O.S..DITTO. SO T.P.O.S.doesn't need to tell her side as
you are doing it so eloquently. WRITE ON..............
This discussion is at an end unless you would like to continue. I have not lashed out in this forum. I have stated what happened in a fable to warn others to never sign things without a lawyer.
The facts have been presented and I need to say no more. When someone is hurt as badly as I was hurt you cannot expect them to remain quiet.
I hope this works out, and you have a lawyer look things over when this phase is resolved. Best of luck with it, and keep on hubbing.
Hi Pete, I'm really sorry to hear your tale. I hope you can get it resolved in your favour and have the retirement you and your partner have dreamed about :)
I read this story carefully and thought to myself, this happens in real life. Then I read the comments and it hurts to know that not only is it true, but it's close to home.
I hope you can work things out and please dig deep, there are some hidden laws that might be able to help you. (I found this out recently)
No one can get away with taking advantage of other people. Simple Karma.
May things work in your favour.
Best Wishes.
Very interesting. A clever and well thought out strategy for a Hub, my friend. Well done.
Interesting story. I don't want to be a foolish man, Pete. You are great writer. Thanks
It is a very good analogy! It is important to be conscious about these situations since time cannot be reversed, but things like these, can be avoided! The experience made him wiser,and as Elena pointed out: NOBODY ESCAPES KARMA, Pete! Justice will be done!
Great story!
warmest regards and blessings,
Al
Sometimes things come back to bite you in a major way!
This was a awesome read and informational. Thanks
This seemed to very much describe the state of 'socialist' America. Those who work hard, do right by themselves, put forth the energy, intestinal fortitude, those who risk it all, in the end have a crowd of hungry wolves at their feet begging for you to drop them a bone, and chomping on your leg when you don't so that the bone simply falls from your clenches into their waiting mouths.
You know Springboard there was a time when I would have debated you on that point, but not any more.
Engaging. Thanks for the read. Now what did P.T. Barnum say....
Although I don't think it'll benefit me at the moment, I'm for sure going to bookmark this for when I find my someone special.
Oh you got that right WildIris.
Wow Pete,
I think the comments were just as impactful as the story. I myself was a "foolish woman" so I can relate. My story isn't playing out quite like yours, but it is still early yet!
I'm sorry to hear that. I think it is time some laws are changed. I would like to start a grassroots movement to limit spousal support to some reasonable period of time, or at least not to force someone to pay when they don't have a income.
Intriguing story! Seems pretty heartless of the first wife to act like that, regardless of what he signed.
This is for the ex. Somebody needs to say it. Girl your a looser. I could tell more by your comments then his. Twenty some years and your still dependent on your ex. GROW UP KID, and stop making excuses!
WOWZIE!!! "As the hub pages turns!"
You know Pete, I got to tell you--this is amazing! Truly it is--and my heart goes out to you! You know what I would do brother--If I was stuck paying for some lazy-dependant-can't live-cant survive guy--who leached my money-well after our children left-20 YEARS LATER!!!! WOWZIEEE-I would give my new partner a great big kiss and hug--and I would sit my happy A## in jail until that loser lost it all and had to rely on himself--streets or not--this is just abuse! Eventually I would get out--get a new job and write the BEST story!!!
I am with BCROWE. *real woman take care of themselves! I raised two boys on my own--I worked...ummmmmm errrrrrrrrr dugh!
God doesn't expect anyone to be someone else's whipping boy!
Well Ghost Whisper it just may come to that in the end. If it comes to a point when I can't pay with my own money I will go to jail. She will not get a nickle of my wife's money even if it means a life sentence for me.
It is a strange world where you can go to jail for the rest of your life for foolishing signing a piece of paper but you can murder and do horrible things to people and be out in a few years.
parden me for asking but was your first marriage a
shotgun wedding? if
not why did you get hitched to someone like that?
scandaleyes,
No it wasn't and she didn't start out like that; it grew over time.
nice hub
I truly understand just how important what you have said in this hub is, If I would know this as I had started along my journey of life, I would be sitting in a far great state of mind this very day, when it comes to Homestead and the comforts of life. Yes an Ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Some very sound advise here. Thank You again. Ed
Of course, the foolish man could always hire a hit man... just putting it out there :-)
Hi Pete - I do hope this is behind you soon and you can move on to better days. Yes, your point about always signing things with a lawyer present is so valid. But it's also sad in a way - what happened to good old fashioned trust? :(
It is sad Shalini. I hate to be distrusting but we have no choice in the world that we live in.
I am always saddened when I hear things like this. I hope you manage to work things out in a way that every one can be happy with.
I must agree. You gotta cover your back no matter what your heart tells you.
The heart and the mind, are all too often at odds within the soul of the "givers"...but seem pretty much in alignment within the soul of the takers. I'm sure your mind told you to sever the umbilical cord constantly while the compassion in your heart said "no". Excellent Hub. A person would think that any "agreement" made was based on existing income and a change in that should have some bearing on the matter. I would probably sue for the house on grounds of unjust enrichment if I were in your shoes...Keep the compassion, and be hard as you need to be for survival...she may be your kids mother but she isn't "your family" anymore, but you no doubt no that well, the tug of war between heart and mind. Sharing your insight was awesome of you and is of great help to many others of us very close to that same trail.
Wow...that was pretty intense there at the top. I think it was a good thing that you got out of that mess, even if it will take some time to unravel yourself from it.
Hang in there!
Okeeriee,
Thanks for the advice. I'll check how that works with the laws in Virginia.
Wow. Definitely a read Pete.
come on
Excellent story - those are the best ways to make a point.
Wow, I didnt know a full grown woman who lived apart from her ex-husband for over twenty years would be entitled to anything, let alone a house and full financial support. Sounds like shes lost somewhere around 1955, and could use a really good therapist and some hellacious drugs to boot...im just sayin'..lol
Wow. I am so sorry the foolish man got involved with a crazy woman. I hope, aside from the money aspect, that you have found happiness. Best wishes for your next phase of life.
Much can be learned by this story...Great writing I really enjoyed it :)
JGW899
Peter, Imagine sacrificing so much only to take from you what was not deserving of her. Sounds like a life of bitter greed. I will maintain every positive thought of you and yours enjoying radical abundance in every area of your life. May your joys be many. I for one could NEVER take anything from a man I had divorced from for it is me who is responsible for me. I'm grateful to you for sharing this story and it was very well written. Much Love and Success be with you, Peace :)
You must have being looking through my mirror and into my life when you wrote this hub. For the past 10 years this FOOLISH MAN had jumped through hoops with his very FOOLIS EX..she not only tore my children out of my life leaving me with one our of 4 children who have a relationship with their loving father. She has cost me many $$$ in and out of courts. It took me all of the past 10 years to regain my sanity, it was tarnished and thrown to the dogs. Thank you for your insight to madness with an ex...and it could be with any gender..unfortunately it looks like you were the loser and she the winner...very sad indeed. tks. I rate this Hub UP
Dear Foolish Man,
You are not so foolish after all and will see life reward you in the end.
Pete, your idea about a grassroots movement... there are likely some of these already started but are waiting for or are in need of a few more people to carry messages forward... people with messages out of life stories like yours.
Dear Pete,
You are an enabler, someone who is caring and trusting and who a partner who wants no responsibility can rely on. You do the right thing by people and they stomp all over you. The independant woman ( which is a misnomer) is pathetic, a user and a child on so many levels. It's a shame that we all have to harden up because of these sorts of people. Keep positive, the more you dwell on this person the more power you give her. Get on with life best you can. That is all any of us can do. Best wishes.
Love is truly blind. But I am fortunate on the second time around, but not without using my brains and not my heart totally. I weighed all things in the balances and learned from my first big mistake.
i FEEL for the foolish man because she is for sure a greedy selfish woman, as a single mother myself I believe that men should not be hung out to dry - it is not their fault entirely when relationships go wrong... really sadenns me when women do this ....
Foolish man you were kind hearted and she took full advantage. You are such a good person but sadly yes foolish she should of shifted her bum instead of leaching off you - moved into a more reasonable house - why should you and your wife have forfitted to keep her???
I just cannot getover the cheek!! no self respect there to expect an income for years and years gorden bennet I am a person who doesnt think ex husbands should have togive their all - they deserve a life too.
So hope foolish man that selfish greedy lady comes a cropper because right now I wish I could win the lottery and help you :-( x
msorensson Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago
Reading this is my third magical moment for today. Well done.
Thank you.